Whether it goes out to anyone at all or not

Change.

This one word, one thing we all live on either waiting for or in fear of.

As I was having another 'one of those days' where I happen to have enough time on my hands to sit down and think back, making realizations and evaluations, a massive flooding of thoughts came through my mind of all the changes that can happen over time. We all go on hearing stories of what is happening around us in every minute of every day whether it's something small and insignificant as your neighbor getting a new car or even a new haircut to the birth of a child or a death of a friend. Call me pessimistic, call me negative, but I call myself real. As strange as changes do come whether planned for or unpredictably, the solution or next procedure to the happening changes is to adapt because somehow "although we all change we still hope for something that would last, but even our own lives don't last", so I was told.

Hello Manhattan

Pulling it together

It's so easy to fall in love, so easy to start, yet so hard to keep going with consistency without losing yourself along the way. And so in the first days playing the game seems fun and enjoyable, especially when you know you've got it going. Until further in along the way the more you gain out of it the more you crave and soon before you realize it you've given everything you can and cannot afford yourself. Hard part is, how do you take a step back and try to regain a part of yourself you gave away now that you've made the realization?

once again, I'm a work in progress

Photos

Today, I learned how amazing it is to discover old photos I've taken, especially when I've completely forgotten about it. It helps me relive the moment and feel motivated to keep creating. 

:(

Today I learned that lying in bed for hours in pain is no fun at all :(

BUT, I also learned that getting back to drawing and painting makes you see your own flaws, it's not easy to get back to, but also not impossible. SO MAKE IT HAPPEN AGAIN AND MAKE IT BETTER! chyeahhhhh

Epiphany

My life has been a huge blur of confinement. 

By that, I mean moving to a new place, meeting new faces and learning how to live the new lifestyle. I have subconsciously tried too hard blend in, which results to not blending in at all because what I really had to do was to adapt. Good news? It's not too late to. Days may come and go, but if all of them are spent the same way, time is only wasted and I am running in a never-ending circle going nowhere. It's new, mistakes are made, confusion grows, and it's all okay as long as there is a point of realization and the fixing begins.

As much as I keep thinking I'm different, I'm more than what others know, thinking will only get me halfway there. It's important to follow up and act upon it. If I'm so different, how am I different? What am I doing to be different or deserve the status. If I'm more than others, what measures that? What are they doing or not doing enough to match me? I can only improve and move forward only if I take acknowledgement of what is happening around me rather than blindly building my ego and think I'm doing great because that could only result in me turning into an arrogant little brat who's good for nothing. If I want the world to need me, I need to acknowledge its presence and importance as well. The world does not revolve around me. It is a place to make a huge difference in, not a place to take over. Power can be disgusting once abused, and abusing power is an endless temptation we all keep giving into.